Divorce can be heartbreaking, even when it is necessary. You have suffered a great loss, and even if your ex was toxic, it is normal to feel sad and defeated after divorce. However, you can take some steps to help you feel better and have the situation under control.
Seek professional help
The divorce process is an emotional rollercoaster filled with shame, anger, sadness and guilt. These strong emotions can put you under a lot of stress, which could seriously affect you physically and psychologically. Because of this, the American Psychological Association recommends therapy to recent divorcees. A mental health professional can help you deal with your emotions and make it easier to adjust to the change. Suppressing your feelings would only prolong the healing process.
Don’t act impulsively
You’ve finally ended your toxic marriage, and this new freedom may make you want to make big changes as your new life is starting. That is not a good idea. You have been through a hard time, and what you need most is to keep things stable for you and your kids, if you have any. Avoid jumping into a new relationship, moving away, quitting your job or taking any other rash decisions that you could later regret. Instead, wait until you feel more stable to make big decisions.
As with anything, there are downsides and upsides to divorce. You may feel its negative effects right now, but remember that divorce has its perks, too. Now that you are not together, you can take time to do all of the things you used to do but stopped doing because of your ex. Pick up new hobbies or skills. Also, try to spend time with people who value and support you. You are not alone in this.
After such a hurtful experience, it is easy to fall into bad habits or stop paying attention to self-care. You must be very careful with your health, as you will only feel worse if you start picking up on unhealthy habits. Eat right, exercise and stick to a routine. Avoid drugs and alcohol as a coping method and minimize other sources of stress in your life. Nothing is more important than your health, and you should prioritize your wellbeing above anything else.
Lastly, you need to forgive your ex if you want to truly live at peace in the years to come. However, the person you must forgive the most is yourself. Don’t punish yourself by thinking the divorce was your fault or that it was a waste of time. Focus on the lesson learned instead. Think of your divorce as a possibility for growth and leave the past where it belongs: in the past.
Get a fresh start
Divorce is not an easy thing to go through. Still, you can make it better by taking care of yourself and your emotions. A new life is ahead of you, and you have the power to start your new journey with the right foot forward.