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Learning to love yourself can lead to healthier relationships

On Behalf of | Sep 1, 2022 | Healing Relationships |

While some relationships seem to come easier than others, all relationships require some work. Anytime two people try to work together, there will be differences that you will need to overcome.

When you are thinking about your long-term relationships, including the relationship you have with your spouse, the stakes can feel much higher. You may have mutual emotional or financial investments that could be at risk if you cannot maintain a healthy relationship.

A significant part of having a healthy relationship often starts with loving yourself. Here are a few tips for learning to love yourself to build healthier relationships.

Caring for yourself is not selfish

From childhood, you may have learned that you should care about others and that asking for things for yourself is selfish. Unfortunately, it can be easy to take that message to the extreme and start thinking that wanting anything for yourself is selfish.

When thinking about your own needs, imagine what you would say to a close friend or a child asking for something similar. Just as you would be inclined to give them the support you need, you also need to advocate for receiving the same support.

Caring for yourself means you can maintain your mental health and energy so that you do not get burnt out and frustrated.

Learning your limits

Saying “yes” often seems like the simplest solution when someone asks for a favor. You know there won’t be a second appeal for help or an argument about why you cannot help.

If you notice that you feel regret after you say yes, you may need to readjust your boundaries, especially if it happens often. Also, if you see that certain people expect you to say yes because you always have, you may need to readjust your boundaries.

Setting new boundaries

If you are going to be able to care for yourself the same way you do for those around you, you will likely need to set new boundaries. Similar to advocating for others, you will need to advocate for yourself.

Depending on the boundaries you need to set, you may need to have specific conversations with your loved ones about the changes you are making.

Connecting with yourself

Now that you have new boundaries, it is time to make time for the things you love that help you be your best self. These are often the activities you enjoy but find yourself putting off because of other obligations.

Part of loving yourself is making your passions a priority. You may want to make appointments with yourself for the type of time you need.

When you take the time to care for yourself, you validate your wants and needs. By loving yourself, you can be more of the person you strive to be as you care for yourself and your loved ones.